Talking about Fear

I surely am not the most confident person walking the earth. As a matter of fact, I doubt myself more often than not. It probably isn’t an entirely bad habit to consider that you yourself might have made a mistake and I highly appreciate it with other people as well.
But there are times, actually there are a lot of times, when it really gets in my way.

I am afraid. I don’t trust myself with managing to do something that feels really important to me. I fear I will make a fool of myself and just don’t get it. At all.
Problem is, the bigger these fears get the higher the chance that you WILL actually feel awkward. That you won’t be able to perform as well as you might have. That you will feel stupid, make stupid things or just feel like you are making stupid things.

It’s a vicious circle, a self-fulfilling prophecy. And it’s got nothing to do with what you actually know. It doesn’t say anything about what you actually are able to handle.
And, last but not least, it’s got nothing to do with who you are and what you stand for.

I will be traveling to Matlock to attend “A Week Of REST” later today. I was all excited about it, was terribly enthusiastic and signed up pretty much as soon as it was available. But now, I do feel very uneasy about it. I am not a very proficient developer yet, but I do want to get there. So right now, I am scared sh*** to be THE ONLY ONE who doesn’t get it.

But my Momentum app must have known and gave me this quotation for today:

Don’t let mental blocks control you. Set yourself free. Confront your fear and turn the mental blocks into building blocks.
@Dr_Roopleen via @momentumdash

I am sure it will be cool. And I will be going home all enthusiastic and with tons of ideas in my head. Lots of knowledge gained, gotten to know a lot of cool, interesting people.

Right now.. I am working on getting there.

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